February 19, 2008 § Leave a comment

THE POST WITH THE MOST

Sometimes I want to post blog entries out of spite: because it’s been so long or for other, pettier reasons. Well, that’s how you know it’s an ugly day to be on the internet. That’s how you know that wading through the acres of old e-mails, blog entries and news-posts disagreed with your spleen.

When you get the urge to pour out the bile into a comment form or an e-mail written in haste close your eyes, and breath. Lean back. Rub your pinched shoulders.

Recently, I’ve

At points like these, I would have

I would have refrained from anything, altogether

To stem whatever flow

That putrid word-stink! and attempt to cut it off at the bud.

I’ve been too hard on myself, I’ve tried to become the perfect person. At times, my self-standards were too high. I’m relaxing now, and that’s fine. That’s nice. You don’t have to be monastic to know “why”, you don’t have to forget comfort or self to know what’s “right”. You do have to be vigilant, but that’s okay. Keep a head-list of approved action and actions, and second guess some things that seem too hot. Be honest with your motives, and with other people. Love on your sleeve. Ignore thinking what other people think. Don’t confuse bitterness or brooding with the not-right-thing, with terminal unhappiness, with a need-change-of-scene. Because, lord: sometimes you just lose perspective. And you need to step out to see.

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